My First Marathon

Ok, so from the top...

I went up to Vancouver on Saturday morning with Audrey and 2 friends to run the Vancouver half-marathon. The drive was great and when we arrived we checked into the hotel (more about that little gem later) and went straight to the packet pick-up.

At the packet pick up I really wasn't feeling very excited about our run the next morning, after all, I've run 13 miles plenty of times. I can run 13 miles in 1:30, and recently I ran it in 1:37 on a very hilly course by my house, I do it to train for Half-Ironman Triathlons, of which I am signed up for 3 this summer, with a couple more on the planner. So, 13 miles was not really that nerve-racking.

Then I looked over and saw a sign across the room that said 'upgrade to full marathon'.

"Upgrade to a full marathon?" I thought..."That sounds fun". I immediately got nervous and began sweating and it was at that point that I knew I needed to do it.

I mean, if it's not about seriously challenging yourself and pushing your body to limits you haven't previously considered...then what is it really about? There is a pure, honest joy that comes from self-inflicted pain through endurance sports that I believe is impossible to find anywhere else in the world.

I look at it like this: At some point in your life you will be unable to pursue physical prowess, this is inevitable, BUT, while you can, I believe you are obligated to. There is only one thing you have truly been given in this life, there is just this one thing that God has granted you full and complete access to, with the potential for unlimited growth and fulfillment at absolutely no cost or obligation to anyone else; this is your body. Whatever shape your body is in now, whatever gifts your body has been endowed with, you are the same as the rest of us: You can begin where you are and go where you can get to. Period. Though these beginning and ending points may be different for all people, the structure of the thing, the potential for growth and fulfillment is the same across the board.

Don't squander your only real posession.

That being said, I signed up for the full marathon. The farthest I have ever run is 17 miles last November, since then 13 is the highest I have gone. So I was nervous.

We went to dinner and then back to the hotel. You couldn't possible ask for a worse hotel to stay in the night before a punishing physical test. The bed was small, but that was fine. The real issue was the location, right above the street, and the fact that it sounded like we were sleeping on the sidewalk.

I mean it was LOUD. All freakin night, sirens, cars with loud exausts, people screaming, arguing and talking. NO SLEEP. NONE. WHATSOEVER. Not good.

At 3 a.m., I looked over at my wife who was also awake and asked if I could turn the tv on, but as the other two people we were rooming with were asleep (though I still can't figure out how..), we decided against the tv.

It was the night that would not end. I longed for 5am...for the sound of the alarm clock to put me out of my misery. I no longer cared about the sleep, I just wanted to get up and do the run.

Finally, 36 hours later, the alarm clock sounded and we all got up and had oatmeal and coffee.

After seeing my wife and our two friends off on the half marathon I went and used the restroom and got in line for the start of the marathon.

I want to stop here and mention something: My legs were hurt going into this. I know that pretty much makes me insane for doing it, but there it is. My wife wrapped my right leg with tape to try and help my shin not hurt as much, but for some reason, I think it's all the swimming I've been doing, my ankles and shins have just been really messed up.

So anyway, my plan was to qualify for the Boston Marathon (not that I'm even sure I want to go to Boston..but there it is...if there is a carrot, i must chase it). To do that, I needed to run 7 min/mile for the first 16, and 8 per mile for the last 10, which is entirely possible for me to do...very realistic. But, right off the bat, I couldn't do my 7/mile pace. I went 7:15, then 7:19, 7:26, 7:15, 7:04, 7:08, 7:11, 7:11, and then finally...7:01.

So my pace was screwed from the beginning. I just couldn't make my legs go, my shins hurt. Then, around mile 16 or so, my left hamstring started wanting to lock up on me, so I kept having to focus on relaxing it and slowing just a touch.

At mile 21 or so, I went to hell. My legs rully realized I had fooled them. This was no 13 mile run. For some reason, they continued to move, though the pain was unlike anything I have ever pushed myself through. I can honestly say, I uncovered a new level of myself around mile 22 and every mile after that magnified my discovery. You can never truly know yourself and appreciate your life fully until you have experienced something like this; I firmly believe that.

Yes... I know that's a large blanket statment, but I think that there are different levels of understanding and joy, and I think I discovered a new one on Sunday. For all I know, this is why people end up running 100 mile races and doing Ironman triathlons, perhaps there are higher levels of joy which accompany the higher levels of pain. It's a mysterious relationship.

I know this for sure: If I had allowed myself to walk or slow dramatically it would not have been the same. I ran between 8 and 9 min/mile for my last 4 or 5, and while that's not my usual pace, it was the hardest I could push myself, and I am grateful to my heart and mind for being able to do it. (sounds strange to write...but it makes sense, right?)

I finished in 3:25:04, 15 minutes off the Boston qualifying time, not that I really cared. As I crossed the line I couldn't breathe and I teared up. I don't think it was from joy, and it wasn't necessarily directly from pain. I think it was due to the knowledge of the pain I had endured and not stopped. Something inside felt very different than any other feeling I have ever experienced...

If I can put a finger on it, this would be it:

The awareness of courage and perseverence.

Push yourself to levels you never believed possible, you will be amazed at the results.